||[Jun. 8th, 2006|12:00 pm]
Angel Sanctuary Badfic
|||||Peace of Mind - Legendary Pink Dots||]|
Welcome to Angel Sanctuary badfic. I hope you... at least find your stay amusing. Please, if you haven't yet, please read the rules.
And, if anyone would like to design us a user icon, I would be more than happy to accept submissions. =D
Finally, here is the fanfic that finally made me snap and make this community. =D
Please excuse the lack of funny. I think I lost about a hundred braincells just reading that the first time, let alone the second.
STORY TITLE: sTuuuPID (Fitting title, I thought)
AUTHOR NAME: 12 Shots of Kerosene
REASON FOR COMPLAINT:
It was a warm, sunny day on earth. Too bad they were always, like, fuckin’ everywhere else they could possibly be.
SETSUNA: Why are we never on earth?
SAKUYA: Shut up. I’m too sexy to listen to you.
My first thought was "Script format. Wonderful." My second thought was "Well, Kira is pretty sexy." My third thought was "Yay! Rape! Of the character kind!"
SARA: Hey! Setsuna is so sexy! Oh, Onii-sama, take me now!
(Sara rips off shirt, crazy hooker pole falls down out of sky, rap music plays, pretty blue and red lights seemingly flash outta no where)
SETSUNA: (blank stare) Yeeeah, about that…we’re sorta outside in the middle of….
HEY AUTHOR! WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE!
ME (dun dun dunnnn): Hmmmm? (Doughnut in mouth) Fai wunaow (I dunno)
First of all... Uh... Sara? She has Sara's name. But I don't think that's her. I'm not going to even comment on the complete lack of interest or jealousy Setsuna's showing in his sister pole dancing in front of a bunch of people (...To rap music?!).
And how bad is it that out of all of this, the thing that irks me most is that the author couldn't even be bothered to think of a setting.
(Train hits Kato)
KATO: gluuuuhhh spurt blood bones crushed dead
.........Uh.... I.... can't even touch that. Not with a ten foot pole.
KIRA: MY BELOVED KATO IS DEAD! QUICK, LET US MAKE LOVE!
(Throws bloody corpse on ground, starts butt-raping it)
But Kira can, with his six inch one. >_>;;
URIEL: What are you doing to my doll!
I hadn't even realized Doll was in this fanfic (she's not, just so you know).
(Kato springs back to life, looks up to see Kira raping him)
KATO: YO MAN, WHAT THE FUCK!
KIRA: Kato! You’re alive! I AM THE GIVER OF LIFE!
(In excitement over Magical penis of life ((Mmmm, me likes )) , Kira throws Kato into air. Kato lands on train track)
TRAIN: Toot toot, chugga chugga
(Train runs over Kato again)
TRAIN: Double owned.
Yes. Kira's magical penis of life. I was stunned into silence as well.
...And Katou can never catch a break, can he?
(Trains slams in reverse, runs Kato down three more times)
TRAIN: For safe measure
ME: Duh, it’s like, prophecy. Did you see how much you die in the manga? Like, 8 fuckin’ times!
...Yeah... but... He... You.... ......
(Looks around. Lots of people staring. Mainly Mexican teens and old white ladies ((lol please don’t call me racist, its just a joke people))
Of course you're not sweetie. -_-;;;
KIRA: I CAN’T TEST OUT MY PENIS OF LIFE ON THESE COMMON FOLK!
Because that stopped Kira from trying out his "Penis of Life" on all the girls in the manga.
SARA: (Still on pole) Guys…? I’ really pantgetting pant tired pant now….
...Well, at least she wasn't forgotten.
So yeah, I know it sucked, but I wrote this whole thing in about three minutes while talking on the phone to my friend Tara. So yeah. Reviews are nice. Lets me know If I should just stick to dramatic macabre stories.
....How about you stick to, oh, I don't know. Not writing.