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Angel Sanctuary Badfic

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Welcome! [Jun. 8th, 2006|12:00 pm]
Angel Sanctuary Badfic


[mood |shockedshocked]
[music |Peace of Mind - Legendary Pink Dots]

Welcome to Angel Sanctuary badfic. I hope you... at least find your stay amusing. Please, if you haven't yet, please read the rules.

And, if anyone would like to design us a user icon, I would be more than happy to accept submissions. =D

Finally, here is the fanfic that finally made me snap and make this community. =D

Please excuse the lack of funny. I think I lost about a hundred braincells just reading that the first time, let alone the second.

STORY TITLE: sTuuuPID (Fitting title, I thought)
AUTHOR NAME: 12 Shots of Kerosene

It was a warm, sunny day on earth. Too bad they were always, like, fuckin’ everywhere else they could possibly be.

SETSUNA: Why are we never on earth?

SAKUYA: Shut up. I’m too sexy to listen to you.

My first thought was "Script format. Wonderful." My second thought was "Well, Kira is pretty sexy." My third thought was "Yay! Rape! Of the character kind!"

SARA: Hey! Setsuna is so sexy! Oh, Onii-sama, take me now!

(Sara rips off shirt, crazy hooker pole falls down out of sky, rap music plays, pretty blue and red lights seemingly flash outta no where)

SETSUNA: (blank stare) Yeeeah, about that…we’re sorta outside in the middle of….



ME (dun dun dunnnn): Hmmmm? (Doughnut in mouth) Fai wunaow (I dunno)

First of all... Uh... Sara? She has Sara's name. But I don't think that's her. I'm not going to even comment on the complete lack of interest or jealousy Setsuna's showing in his sister pole dancing in front of a bunch of people (...To rap music?!).

And how bad is it that out of all of this, the thing that irks me most is that the author couldn't even be bothered to think of a setting.

(Train hits Kato)

KATO: gluuuuhhh spurt blood bones crushed dead

TRAIN: Owned

.........Uh.... I.... can't even touch that. Not with a ten foot pole.


(Throws bloody corpse on ground, starts butt-raping it)

But Kira can, with his six inch one. >_>;;

URIEL: What are you doing to my doll!

I hadn't even realized Doll was in this fanfic (she's not, just so you know).

(Kato springs back to life, looks up to see Kira raping him)


KIRA: Kato! You’re alive! I AM THE GIVER OF LIFE!

(In excitement over Magical penis of life ((Mmmm, me likes )) , Kira throws Kato into air. Kato lands on train track)

TRAIN: Toot toot, chugga chugga

(Train runs over Kato again)

TRAIN: Double owned.

Yes. Kira's magical penis of life. I was stunned into silence as well.

...And Katou can never catch a break, can he?

(Trains slams in reverse, runs Kato down three more times)

TRAIN: For safe measure

(All nod)

...No. Never.

ME: Duh, it’s like, prophecy. Did you see how much you die in the manga? Like, 8 fuckin’ times!

...Yeah... but... He... You.... ......


(Looks around. Lots of people staring. Mainly Mexican teens and old white ladies ((lol please don’t call me racist, its just a joke people))

Of course you're not sweetie. -_-;;;


Because that stopped Kira from trying out his "Penis of Life" on all the girls in the manga.

SARA: (Still on pole) Guys…? I’ really pantgetting pant tired pant now….

...Well, at least she wasn't forgotten.

So yeah, I know it sucked, but I wrote this whole thing in about three minutes while talking on the phone to my friend Tara. So yeah. Reviews are nice. Lets me know If I should just stick to dramatic macabre stories.

....How about you stick to, oh, I don't know. Not writing.

[User Picture]From: jet_leonheart
2006-06-08 06:29 pm (UTC)
Are you...sure this counts as a fanfic? Or even a text document? x.x||
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: voldy06
2006-06-08 06:51 pm (UTC)
Gah! My eyes are burning!

Wel, at least, it's a good example for other writers how NOT to write: Do not use script format. Do not forget the plot or the setting. Do not write the characters out of character. Do NOT write Kira as a necrophile (That's disgusting!). In short, do NOT write like "12 Shots of Kerosene".
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jet_leonheart
2006-06-08 07:52 pm (UTC)
I have to disagree.I don't mind the script format so much. It's a writing style and I don't think it should be up for critism. Just like when someone comments on one of my drawings and says "the nose should be more anime-looking"
But, scripting aside, there are waayy more problems with...whatever this is, than there are allowances for creative liscense ¬.¬
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[User Picture]From: voldy06
2006-06-08 08:26 pm (UTC)
In that case we will have to agree to disagree, because I find script format simply horrible. It's like the writer was too lazy to include any description. Then again, I've never read a well done fanfiction that used script format. They were always like that story above.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jet_leonheart
2006-06-08 08:30 pm (UTC)
I've seen it done. I used to write like that myself. But my style changed when I started rping on livejournal.
But then, I've seen it done horribly too. Like this one. I think it can be a good way to start though, if you're like me and have a hard time describing but still want to get the point across x.x||
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From: obey_the_fluff
2006-06-10 04:51 pm (UTC)

brain dead.

I think my brain died.
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